spoopyrump:

NO BUT REAL TALK OK I WENT TO SCHOOL IN GEORGIA AND I EVEN HAD TEACHERS TELLING ME THAT I SHOULDN’T CELEBRATE HALLOWEEN BECAUSE IT WAS THE DEVIL’S BIRTHDAY AND I GOT SUSPENDED FOR 4 DAYS BECAUSE I WROTE AN ESSAY ENTITLED “You’re All Dumb, The Devil Wasn’t Even Born: The Story of All Hallow’s Eve” AND I TALKED ABOUT THE HISTORY OF HALLOWEEN, HOW IT WAS A PAGAN CELEBRATION TO VENERATE AND APPEASE THE DEAD AND HOW THE DEVIL WAS TECHNICALLY AN ANGEL THAT WAS CAST FROM HEAVEN AND BECAUSE ANGELS WERE CREATED BY GOD THEY WEREN’T BORN THEREFORE THE DEVIL COULDN’T HAVE A BIRTHDAY. MY PRINCIPAL WAS SO CONCERNED FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS IN 3RD GRADE AND HE GOT MAD AT MY MOM FOR RAISING SUCH A “DISRESECTFUL, HEDOONISTIC CHILD”. SHE BOUGHT ME ICECREAM AND LET ME WATCH CARTOONS WHILE I WAS OUT OF SCHOOL.

spoopyrump:

NO BUT REAL TALK OK I WENT TO SCHOOL IN GEORGIA AND I EVEN HAD TEACHERS TELLING ME THAT I SHOULDN’T CELEBRATE HALLOWEEN BECAUSE IT WAS THE DEVIL’S BIRTHDAY AND I GOT SUSPENDED FOR 4 DAYS BECAUSE I WROTE AN ESSAY ENTITLED “You’re All Dumb, The Devil Wasn’t Even Born: The Story of All Hallow’s Eve” AND I TALKED ABOUT THE HISTORY OF HALLOWEEN, HOW IT WAS A PAGAN CELEBRATION TO VENERATE AND APPEASE THE DEAD AND HOW THE DEVIL WAS TECHNICALLY AN ANGEL THAT WAS CAST FROM HEAVEN AND BECAUSE ANGELS WERE CREATED BY GOD THEY WEREN’T BORN THEREFORE THE DEVIL COULDN’T HAVE A BIRTHDAY. MY PRINCIPAL WAS SO CONCERNED FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS IN 3RD GRADE AND HE GOT MAD AT MY MOM FOR RAISING SUCH A “DISRESECTFUL, HEDOONISTIC CHILD”. SHE BOUGHT ME ICECREAM AND LET ME WATCH CARTOONS WHILE I WAS OUT OF SCHOOL.

jegmegoganne:

nataliesama:

bagmilk:

karkatstuck:

tangarang:

fullmetalbukkake:

lafix:

A very bizarre bird was photographed in Venezuela recently. Meet the Potoo, which is rarely seen in daylight. - Imgur
NOPE

what the fuck is that

that looks like a god damn nightmare

and this is sound it makes

MOOOOOM

are you fucking kidding me it sounds like a 18 year old boy complaining to his mother because she cut off the wifi


Its eyes are actually yellow

jegmegoganne:

nataliesama:

bagmilk:

karkatstuck:

tangarang:

fullmetalbukkake:

lafix:

A very bizarre bird was photographed in Venezuela recently. Meet the Potoo, which is rarely seen in daylight. - Imgur

NOPE

what the fuck is that

that looks like a god damn nightmare

and this is sound it makes

MOOOOOM

are you fucking kidding me it sounds like a 18 year old boy complaining to his mother because she cut off the wifi

Its eyes are actually yellow

alicemurphys:

duhmayo:

baruchobramowitz:

"Hello Professor,

I am doing my best to make this email sound adult. I have rewritten it sixteen, wait… seventeen, times. I am requesting assistance.

Thank you,
Student”

"Student,

ok

-bill”

yo seriously

darkbookworm13:

breanieswordvomit:

doodlemancy:

My counselor suggested that I imagine my anxiety as a monster, and to imagine myself chasing it around, kicking it, stomping on it, etc. whenever I’m defying it. It’s been very helpful.

Poop lies!!

Hear hear! Yea! Take your poop lies and go!

omgrwby:

casfallen:

Writing in my brain: Beautiful flowing sentences full of powerful phrases and enigmatically witty dialogue. 

Writing on the page: They did the thing and said some stuff. There was snark. 

THIS.
ABSOLUTELY THIS

averagefairy:

i literally cannot take people over 30 anymore thinking technology is “sucking the magic out of life” listen grandma i can look up how to say anything in any language in under a second i can see my best friend face to face in real time even though she lives across an ocean i could spend the rest of my life watching different videos of cats and probably never see the same one twice if thats not magical to you WHAT IS  

seifukucat:

[walks into pet store puppy area wearing a huge coat]

[shuffles quickly out of pet store in a much tighter fitting coat]

fucknodoms:

I HAVE A HUGE COCK AND I PLAY HOCKEY LMAO FOREVER

fucknodoms:

I HAVE A HUGE COCK AND I PLAY HOCKEY LMAO FOREVER